Doxitaxol sucks

Well…this round of chemo has been really tough emotionally and physically.  I’ve just had the 1st of 3 rounds of Doxitaxol (and started my first of 18 Herceptins).  Everyone told me that it was harder, but I had no idea of what they meant.  I have been beyond zonked.  I’ve taken more naps than I think I took as a kid.  I’m good in the morning, but by about 3, I’m toast.  All I want to do is lie on the couch, or crawl into bed, and sleep.  It’s not just tired, it’s a physical thing, zero energy, zero drive, zero energy.  For those who know me well, you know that has to be hard!

My port is healing nicely and the bad reaction I had from the tape is finally settling down, it still looks like someone took a hot iron and burned my neck and chest.  But at least it isn’t burning or itching anymore.  I did find some crew neck shirts that cover it!  Never thought I would ever wear crew….I’m a v-neck kind a girl!

But because nothing seems to be easy about any of this, I basically threw my shoulder and rotator cuff out of whack. (probably from holding it in a protective way from what is going on on my chest!)  Not a good thing when I have to go sit on a plane for 12 hours!.  But on a good note, my friend Melanie Lopes, a chiropractor who I highly recommend, was able to give me some relief and I will see her again before I leave.

I took Richard and Hailey to the airport today.  Really difficult saying good bye.  This is all so unfair, it’s not the way it’s supposed to be.  I’m supposed to be going with them.  I know, I’m grateful, I will be joining them soon, but it’s not the same.  Cancer took that away from me, and as much as I try and be SO positive, it really flipping sucks, and it’s hard not to get mad and upset.

My friends have been so wonderful, lots of messages, emails etc, and everyone is keeping me busy over the next few days.  I need to book in time to pack 🙂  I’m very blessed to have so many people there for me.

Thanks everyone…you all mean so much to me!

Tomorrow will be a better day, and will take me one day closer to going to Israel!



5 thoughts on “Doxitaxol sucks

  1. jodi says:

    Randy, you are so strong. You are showing your girls what being a strong women is and you are setting them up for a successful life.

  2. Leanne Stewart says:

    Thinking of you and I hope you have a wonderful time with your family in Israel.. and the Best of luck to your daughter!

  3. Kelly Rosteski says:

    Thinking only positive thoughts. You are an amazing Lady. Safe journey to Israel. Hugs!

  4. Maya says:

    Randy, just keep the faith. Doxitaxol effect is really a challenge. It diminishes all your energy and all you want to do is to have a good sleep- 2 hrs straight was a heaven for me. You’re halfway now.

  5. Tiff says:

    Be mad. It is alright. You deserve to be mad. Cancer is a shitty disease. Get it out and then let the anger go. Hugs to you

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