It’s hard to believe that Carly is on her way to the Maccabiah games in Israel to represent Canada in Woman’s gymnastics.  I am SO proud of her.  She believed in herself, stayed true to her dream, and is on her way for a once in a lifetime experience.

Carly also believed in me, she believed that we could get the fundraising done so that she could go.  There was never a doubt in her mind.  When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February, there was also no doubt in her mind that I would be able to come to Israel to see her compete.  She never wavered from her position that I would be there.  When she left today, she told me she loved me and to stay healthy!  It made me cry.  I’m so happy for her, yet, I wish she didn’t need to tell me to stay healthy, I wish I was as healthy as I was before February.  She shouldn’t have to worry about me, she should only have to go and have an amazing time.  It reminds me of how hard this is on everyone, not just me, but my girls, my husband, my family.  It’s the cruel reality of all this.

But, I am going to Israel on the 20th.  I can’t go when Richard and Hailey go on the 16th, as I still need a few more recovery days from my chemo to be in the safe zone.  I will miss opening ceremonies, but I’m grateful I will see Carly compete.  But it’s not exactly the summer we had planned way back in January.  But we make the best of it.  I promised Carly I would stay healthy, and that’s the plan!

I’m starting to feel better after chemo on Friday.  I’m still really tired and drained, and find it hard to concentrate on anything for a long time.  I also had a bad reaction to the tape that was used around my portocath, and have been back and forth to my Doctor for all kinds of creams to bring what looks like a localized burn under control.  This has thrown a little monkey wrench in what I need to take to Israel in terms of clothing.  Being someone who always wears v-necks, I would probably scare someone right now.  Plus this will make that area super sensitive to the sun.  For those of you who have been to Tel Aviv in the summer, well, it’s super hot and sunny.  So now I have to go get some clothes that cover me, but are not heavy so that I won’t swelter.  

For someone who never took anything more than Advil, I’m now a walking pharmacy of pills, and ointments.  I just hope they don’t stop me at customs!!  I need a backpack just for all my meds.  Seriously, this all sucks, but I will deal with it.   A day at a time, that’s what I keep telling myself, so I need to listen to my own advice.

Over the next few days, I have to help Hailey get packed.  Taking Richard and Hailey to the airport will be very emotional and difficult,  if everything was as its supposed to be, I would be leaving with them.  But I can’t.  I can’t go till the 20th.  It’s going to be very lonely for a few days without anyone home.  Just me and Ruby (my doggy).    OK…I know…one day at a time.

Back to work tomorrow, I need some normalcy!