You would think that I would remember everything in detail, but the truth is, you really just want to forget…close your eyes, and try and wake up from a very bad dream.
I remember getting the call from my Doctor. She said there was something on my Mammogram that she didn’t like, and she didn’t want to wait the 6 months that had been recommended to get another Mammo. That one decision, literally could have been the key to my survival. I did go for another compression Mammogram….and yes ladies…they can squish them even more!! (One has to find humour in this journey!!)
From there, I ended up at the Gattuso Rapid Diagnostic clinic for a biopsy, and 2 days later with Richard by my side, we heard the words that would forever change my life, our lives. I had breast cancer.
We sat in disbelief. My ultimate fear.
Lots of things went through my mind, including was I going to die.
Thanks to my Doctor, it was caught early.
After telling my family, I went into planning mode. That’s what I do, I organize things, I make sure everyone is ok, and everything is organized. It kept me sane. We hadn’t yet told Carly or Hailey, as they still had one last gymnastic Provincial qualifier, and there was no way I was putting this on their minds, till they finished competing. It was the longest week ever.
The competition was great, and they both qualified and were going to provincials, but now that meant we had to tell them.
So, being the planner I am, I needed to make sure I had things in place first. I called their best friends parents, as I wanted them to know before they were blindsided by their daughters freaking out when my girls called them. In hindsight, it was probably one of the best planning things I did. I also called they gym and spoke to thier coaches, I needed to make sure they were safe in the gym both emotionally and physically.
Telling your kids you have cancer, is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I can’t even begin to put down in writing how heart wrenching it was, knowing I couldn’t make it all better for them. Isn’t that what a mom is supposed to do. Even writing this now, a few months later, it’s impossible to do without tears.